Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Beach

While on holidays we took the kids to the beach. Four adults to six kids was a good ratio. It meant that most of us got to swim, except for poor old hubby who spent the whole morning chasing Possum, who wanted to run away. Yes, Possum was terrified of the ocean. All that water, moving back and forwards, and he’s not that good with water anyway. Amber had a ball, she and I swam out for a while, and then when I thought we were far enough out, we swam back, great to know that even with very little swimming in the past few years, I am still a more powerful swimmer than she is. As we turned back I saw that Techno Boy had followed us out, although he was quite a way behind us, so I told him to go back in. He is not a strong swimmer. In fact I caught up with him rapidly and then towed him in. Lily had a ball in the shallows. Yes I want to go back to the beach next time we have a summer holiday. I have always loved the way the seawater holds you up and supports you.

After the beach we went to the foreshore playground. It is a great water park, with water dropping from buckets, and squirting from poles, and squirting from the ground. As one thing goes on another goes off, and you can think you are safe when suddenly something behind you turns on and you get wet again. Luckily I was still in my bathers, as I got quite a bit wetter than planned. Possum enjoyed this one though. The water was more controllable and easy to escape from. Also there was a water gun, which he really enjoyed as it gave him the chance to wet his brother and sisters. Not something a 2 year old gets to do all that often.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Could Have Done Without

Driving back from holidays yesterday. We were about 2/3 or the way home, and I for one was quite relaxed, having done my share of the driving. Travelling down a quiet country road, not our usual route, so taking a bit more interest in the scenery than usual. We came around a bend to see a red car heading towards us on our side of the road, it quickly swerved to the other side, and losing control, swerved back, the onto the other side again, then short straight across the road and into the bush on the side. It was all so fast, and very unnerving. I knew if we had been 100m further on it would have hit us. Not a nice end to a holiday.

So we had the honour of being first on the scene of a car crash. Hubby got out and flagged down the truck that had been following us, then headed to the car to see if he could help. I asked the trucky if he had a phone, luckily he did, so he phoned emergency services, and I went down to see if I could help. Luckily hubby had it all under control, one shocked, bruised, and bleeding driver, no passengers. I went back to make sure the kids were OK, got them down out of the car and into a patch of bush were they would be fine. Hubby thanked the trucky and sent him on his way, then moved our car to a safer spot. As this was happening another car pulled up.

The landowner had arrived, just coming home from the shops. So she went over to help the driver, and then asked us to head down the road a bit and call the drivers family. So off we went, then back to talk to the police. Luckily all they wanted was our contact details. The driver was mostly fine, just a few cuts and bruises and shock. Poor thing. The car was a right off.

So we headed home, a bit shaken, but fine. Not the best ending for a holiday, but at least we are all well. And it reminded us that empty country roads can be dangerous too.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Human Milk for Human Babies

A lot of people wonder why I expressed my milk for Possum for so long, why express for over two years. The answer is very simple, I believe human babies should drink human milk. As I couldn’t feed him direct from the source, I chose to express for him, there seemed no other way. In the early days people could understand it, after all I was simply maintaining my supply until he learnt how to feed properly. By the time he was three months old, most people expected me to feed him alternatives. When I didn’t they were surprised, but I really could see no reason why I should feed him modified cows, sheep or goats milk, and certainly no reason why I should feed him a factory product derived from soy, oats or rice, that has a vague resemblance to milk, but certainly isn’t milk. At least cows, goats and sheep milk is real milk, made by mums to feed their babies, but my baby wasn’t a calf, kid or lamb so why would I feed him milk that is perfectly suited for small ruminants, but certainly not suited for a small omnivore. Of course these milks are modified in factories to change the balance of nutrients to be closer to human milk, but why should I give him a factory-contrived simulation when the real thing was in my breasts just waiting to get out.

Some people got it, but when he was 6 months old, they felt as he should be on solids, it didn’t matter so much. Well the small fact that he didn’t start solids until 8 months, wouldn’t have a bar of it, made sure I continued to offer him my milk. Why would I want foreign proteins in his stomach when he was just learning to digest those specially designed for him?

When my freezer stash grew big enough to last till 12 months, most people expected me to stop expressing, but he wouldn’t drink thawed milk, it just didn’t taste the same. So I kept expressing, and after all he was still such a baby, at 12 months he wasn’t walking yet, and certainly wasn’t talking. He was no longer a newborn, but he was definitely still a baby. So I just kept on going. People thought I was insane, people thought I was doing it for guilt, some people understood, they knew I was doing it because human babies should drink human milk wherever possible.

He thrived on my milk, and gradually started eating more solids, after he turned two I decided enough was enough, time to wean him. When I weaned him his weight plummeted because he was thriving on my milk, not on the solids, it took a lot of effort to increase his solids enough for him to gain the calories he had been getting from me and help him grow. So I realised that he really Had needed my milk until he was two and probably could have done with drinking it for another twelve months, but he was no longer a baby, definitely a little boy, and growing again on solids, just not as quickly as when on my milk.

So for those who wonder why a mum would express for over 2 years for her baby, it is not because she is insane, or filled with guilt it is simply because she like me, believes that human milk is for human babies.

O SON OF BOUNTY! Out of the wastes of nothingness, with the clay of My command I made thee to appear, and have ordained for thy training every atom in existence and the essence of all created things. Thus, ere thou didst issue from thy mother’s womb, I destined for thee two founts of gleaming milk, eyes to watch over thee, and hearts to love thee. Out of My loving-kindness, ’neath the shade of My mercy I nurtured thee, and guarded thee by the essence of My grace and favor. And My purpose in all this was that thou mightest attain My everlasting dominion and become worthy of My invisible bestowals. And yet heedless thou didst remain, and when fully grown, thou didst neglect all My bounties and occupied thyself with thine idle imaginings, in such wise that thou didst become wholly forgetful, and, turning away from the portals of the Friend didst abide within the courts of My enemy.

Baha’u’llah

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Belief

Belief is a funny little thing. I know a bit, I don’t know a lot, and I believe a bit. I know, for example, that I’m sitting here typing, I know Possum is asleep in the lounge room, I know I have four kids, but I don’t know exactly where they all are. I don’t know so many things they are uncountable, not only that I don’t actually know what it is I don’t know. But the fuzzy area is the things I believe. For instance, do I know that this chair won’t fall down as soon as I sit on it, or do I believe this based on the fact that it never has before? Do I know that the sun will come up in the morning, or do I just believe that, again based on past experience? I don’t even really know that the world is round, I have never left Australia, so I haven’t been far enough afield to really know it. I believe it based on various facts, I have seen pictures from space, I’ve seen globes and know people who have travelled around the globe, so I am pretty sure that it really is round, yet I don’t really know it, not like I know my glass of water needs refilling.

There are some things that I believe that most people also believe, because they are so close to certain that there is little doubt, like the world is round, and we revolve around the sun, so it will come up in the morning. There are very few people who don’t agree with this. What about the holocaust, some people don’t believe in that, yet others do. I can’t say I know it happened, after all I’ve never met a holocaust survivor, nor even a descendent of a holocaust survivor, yet I believe it happened. Why do I believe this, well because I have read and seen the results of it, so many others believe in it, I’m certainly not alone there.

Then there are the other things, things that aren’t so certain, like the existence of God. I look around me and see the wonders of the world, the wonder of giving birth and bringing up kids, the love of parents for kids and kids for parents, and I see reflections of the wonders and love of God. Yet others look at these same things and don’t see any signs of God. I am just as certain that God exists as I am that the sun will come up tomorrow, yet the proof is no where near as clear. I am a Baha’i, I believe that Baha’u’llah and the Bab did walk the earth, actually this is fairly certain, many non Baha’is have written about them, they really did live where and when I believe they did. The big question is were they who they said they were, were they really messengers from God, when I read the books they wrote, am I reading the word of God, or is it nonsense. Of course, if you don’t believe in God, you have no problem, it is just nonsense, but I believe in God and I believe that Baha’u’llah is indeed the most recent messenger from God. I also believe that one day in the future God will send us more messengers, because the message needs to change as the state of humanity changes. The world is very different to 2000 years ago, and it has changed a lot in the last 180 years, it will continue to change and God will need to update our message. I believe that one day this will happen, but I also believe that I won’t be alive to see it, although I do keep an open mind there, just in case.

This is how belief is a funny thing. There are even less certain things that we believe with out question, yet there is no proof at all. Many people believe the things they see on the TV news or current affairs shows, sometimes this is OK, sometimes it isn’t and yet they assume that because its on the news it is true, so they think they know things that aren’t true. This can cause trouble.

So I know a little, a believe a lot, and I don’t know so much I can’t even imagine most of it.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Bespoke Photos















The other day I asked the kids to take a photo for my blog. I could just see in my mind a picture of the trampoline with feet floating above it. So they went out, Amber took the pictures, came back in, Techno Boy downloaded them. They went off to do whatever, I wrote my blog and went to post the pics. Not a single picture on the computer of the trampoline, let alone feet floating above. This morning Techno Boy insisted he had done it, and yes there they were, on his laptop, which is connected to nothing and completely useless to me. So here is the picture I had wanted for the Trampoline. Reminds me that they are still only kids and if you really want it do it yourself.

Of course all the pictures I’ve used so far have been taken by one or other of the kids. I tend to take photos of the kids, they take photos of everything and some of them are lovely.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Trampoline


I always wanted a trampoline, every child should have one. Get the feeling I missed out as a child. Well I’m missing out no longer. Yes, last week we bought the kids a trampoline. We tossed up about how big to get it, which size, what shape, which brand. In the end we bought it from our local sports store, so the question became “how big?” They range in size from 8 feet to 16 feet, first problem, we don’t speak feet, we speak metres. So we carefully stepped it out in the back yard and decided that yes, the 16 footer would just fit. Thought some more, and decided that if the whole family was to use it, and if Amber wasn’t to outgrow it in a few years, the 16 footer would be best.

Fast forward to last Friday, we finally collected it and put it up. Well a 16 foot diameter trampoline is bigger than we thought. Yes it does fit our yard, but only just, thank goodness its at quarter acre block. The trampoline is huge, the whole family could fit on it, twice, maybe three times.

It is so much fun. The hardest part is convincing everyone that two or three at a time is not good, there is just so much space it feels perfectly safe. But more than one at a time is just an accident waiting to happen. I am enjoying it, but it is harder to bounce on than I remember. Not sure if that is because the net is so much bigger I need to put more energy into it to get a bounce, or if it is just because I am bigger and a lot less fit than I was at 16 on my best friends tramp when visiting her on holidays. I suspect its because I’m bigger and a lot less fit, well a lot bigger too, but hopefully the tramp will help there. Hopefully it will help Techno Boy with his incipient wait problem too. I have trouble getting him off it.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Sleep Over










On Saturday night Lily (she’s 8) had her first sleep over. Every Saturday we have dinner at Mum’s place, Lily often heads over early to help prepare the meal, and then we all walk home together, a lovely evening. Last Saturday as we were cleaning up Lily asked if she could stay the night. Well of course we said yes, she’s never even asked before. We quickly popped home, grabbed her night things, spare clothes, teddy bear, packed them in a bag and back we went. She slept beautifully, not sure why we didn’t do it before. Actually I know exactly why we didn’t do it before, she wasn’t ready. This is the child that I had to talk into bed when I was away over night, she wouldn’t go to bed until I told her a story over the phone. This is the child who spends about half of every second night in my bed sleeping with me. This is the child who won’t go to sleep if I haven’t tucked her in, given her a kiss and read her a story. Lily just wasn’t ready for a night away from home, but now she is. She is now excitedly planning more nights at Grandma’s and maybe even a sleep over at her best friend’s. It is amazing how things can change in a moment. It is amazing how they suddenly grow up when you aren’t looking.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Flying Start


Each week Possum and I go to the Flying Start 0-4 year old program at our local primary school. Possum has a ball, so many different toys, so many things to do. I enjoy myself too, a chance to chat with other mums. I enjoy watching Possum follow in Amber’s footsteps by doing everything in his own time. When the others are doing craft he’s playing outside, when the others go outside he wants a book read, when it’s story time he’s moved onto the craft activity. We have a ball, and while we enjoy the cosy atmosphere with only a few other kids, I do wonder why it isn’t reaching the target audience.

Research shows that early exposure to books, craft etc will help kids at school. It also shows that many kids miss out on this exposure in their homes. This program is run with the aim of solving that problem by providing the kind of exposure to books and early learning kids need. Interestingly most of the kids who attend this program come from families that value education and who already have a high exposure to learning opportunities. How do we reach the kids who need it? Another interesting thing I found out this week is that the program isn’t funded in our town, they are running it on an oily rag by using the kindy classroom on its free days, and using all of the kind facilities. Why is it that in a town with consistently low educational outcomes is such an important program ignored? I asked the teacher and she suspects it is because the government is concerned that some mums would use it like day care, and just drop their 0-4 year old off and come back 2 hours later. Not a nice thought.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Cockroach

Just fed the dog. I picked up the packet of dog food from on top of the washing machine, which is whirring away madly, not sure why as it's raining so the clothes won't get dry. As I headed out the door I noticed a huge black cockroach on the top of the food sachet, so flicked it off to land on the verandah somewhere. Opened the packet, turned it over, and guess what, another smaller brown one was hiding in the bottom. Maybe its time to find a new home for the dog food.

Sorry no pics the little blighters move too quickly.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Guilt


I often hear people saying “you make me feel guilty” or “you can’t do that, you’ll make people feel guilty” and I wonder. Sometimes I feel guilty, I certainly feel guilty that over the past year I have eaten way too much junk food and am now paying the price as my summer clothes don’t fit and I am not looking forward to going to the pool. I am right to feel guilty, I knew full well that I was eating badly, and I was pretty sure what the result would be, so I was knowingly doing the wrong thing. Yes I should definitely feel guilty when I have done the wrong thing. And guess what, when I see slim people walking down the street, and then catch a glimpse of myself in the window, I do feel guilty, but I don’t blame them, they have done nothing to make me guilty, I have done it all.

Guilt, like most emotions come from within, that is why I can see a picture and feel one emotion, while you might feel another. The picture is the trigger, but it isn’t the cause of the emotion. Guilt arises from the fact that we are unhappy with our decisions, so if you made the best decision you could at the time, even if it later turns out to be the wrong decision, that is no reason to feel guilt … regret, yes, but guilt, no. I have made quite a few decisions that I regret, however, I know I made the best decisions I could at the time. With the knowledge I have now, I would have done things differently, don’t you just love 20:20 hindsight, but at the time, I did the best I could, certainly no need for guilt. So many people fail at things they want to do, because they don’t get the support and information they need to succeed. These people should feel regret that they didn’t achieve whatever it was, but never guilt. Maybe others should feel guilty for letting them down, for not helping them to do what they wanted or needed to do. So next time you feel guilt, take a second look, did you do the best you could, did you try your hardest and use all the information available, if you did, then maybe you should be feeling regret, or even anger, that the information you needed wasn’t there.

One example in the media at the moment is breastfeeding. 90% of Australian mothers initiate breastfeeding, so that means that 90% of Australian mothers want to breastfeed their babies. That is terrific. The sad thing is that due to lack of support and readily available information half of these mums will not be breastfeeding their baby by the time bub is 6 months old. Sadly, many of these mums feel guilt, because they know that their baby should be breastfed, but isn’t. These mums should not feel guilt, they have tried their hardest, but the support just wasn’t there. Many health professionals don’t know enough about breastfeeding to really support these mums, many parenting books recommend behaviours that will sabotage the breastfeeding relationship. There are so many elements in our society that make breastfeeding hard, it is a wonder that 50% of babies get any breast milk at all at 6 months. So mothers should not feel guilty, they should feel regret that they have not succeeded at something they wanted, but they also need to be aware that the reason it was so hard is that the support is not there. They are told how important it is to breastfeed, but they are not given the information and support necessary. Who do you think should feel guilty, certainly not the mums.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Today is Dad's Birthday


Today is Dad’s birthday, today he would have turned 76. I love my Dad, he was a wonderful man, so strong and capable. He loved all of his kids, and we all loved him. About 11 years ago, he was diagnosed with cancer, he was basically told it was a death sentence; chances are he would be dead within 5 years of diagnosis, only 5% survival rate. So being Dad he decided he would fight and beat the odds. He had surgery, which removed most of the cancer, he did chemo and radiotherapy, which made him really sick, but he did seem to recover. He actually managed to get 5 years more. He died in January 6 years ago. I still think about him often, and so often wish I could ask him what he would do, especially with house repairs and on the farm. Sadly I can’t, but I do ask myself, what would he do, and so often that brings me an answer that works. Every year in November, and January I think about my Dad and miss him so much. I am also very sad that he missed seeing Possum, at least he got to meet the other three. Dad didn’t really relate to babies, so I was looking forward to the kids getting older and getting to know their Granddad really well. Sadly that is never going to happen, as they were under six when he died. I’m sure he would be so impressed and proud of Amber and Techno Boy, and I’m sure he would have enjoyed spending time with them. Sadly they will never know what a wonderful man their Grandfather was.

I miss my Dad.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Race That Stops The Nation

I’ll let you into a secret here, it doesn’t. I’m sure that over half the population doesn’t have time to more than glance at the TV and at least a quarter really couldn’t care less about a horse race in Melbourne. So who doesn’t have time to watch it? Most medical professionals, after all the sick and dying, don’t stop for a horse race, neither do babies being born. School teachers, yes, all kids go to school on a Tuesday, well except maybe those that live in Victoria where it is a public holiday, in the rest of the country school and work go on as usual (officially for work anyway), so teachers and childcare workers are still hard at it. My mechanic is working today, he is going to be servicing my car among others, he may pause to watch the race, but he won’t be taking the whole day off to celebrate, neither will many other self employed people. People working in hospitality will be flat out, catering for all of those parties that go on. The police will also be kept busy by the drunks careening home after cup day parties and the hospital emergency rooms tend to be busier on days like this. These are the people who have no choice but to ignore the race, then there are those who just don’t like horse racing, yes there are many of us in Australia, and no we aren’t un-Australian, we are just un interested in horse racing. Then there are those who deliberately stay away, because they have gambling or drinking problems and the only way to avoid disaster is to steer clear. Those who have religious objections to gambling, so the whole Muslim and Baha’i population of Australia, plus other religions too, like the Mormons and Seventh Day Adventists, and others that I don't know enough about. In fact when I add it up like this, it is probably more than half the nation that doesn’t stop, so maybe the TV hype should change, life goes on for many of us, while the race slows it for a few.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Uniforms


Today is free dress day at Amber’s school. They are raising money for cancer research, take a gold coin, wear whatever you like (within reason). So this morning she pops out of her room and asks me “skirt or pants?” I checked the weather, it’s going to be 31, so maybe skirt would be better. She pops out a few minutes later in a lovely skirt “which shirt should I wear?” She tried on three different ones and held up a couple more before deciding. It is so much quicker when she just gets her uniform out and wears it. This is one of the reasons I love uniforms, no need to think in the morning, just get dressed, eat and out the door. Another reason I love them is that they are comfortable (at least my kids are, mine was a bit lacking in the comfort department), tend to look quite good, and no one is showing off how rich their parents are because they have different outfits every day of the month. I have always preferred to have a uniform, I am never that fussed about what I wear, so not having to think about it is so much easier. Also uniforms tend to come at a discount, subsidised by work or school, so I don’t have to waste excess money on clothes I don’t really want anyway.

However, we are riding for conflict about uniforms in our small town. The three schools are amalgamating, so the two primaries and the high school will combine. Sounds great, except there is already conflict about what to call the place, and what the kids will wear. One school has green and white, looks great, the other primary is royal blue and light blue, also looks great. The High School wears navy and royal blue, actually doesn’t look that good, so change is going to happen. Trouble is the parents at the two primary schools are very attached to their uniforms and also there is a degree of antagonism from one school to the other, so the green parents will not want their kids weaning the same colour as the blue school. I don’t think the blue parents care that much, but the high school is blue too, so chances are we’ll all be blue in a couple of years. Maybe we should go for a completely new colour you say, maybe brown, trouble is we have a Catholic primary school in town and they already have that. I hope people see sense, because we need a good looking comfortable uniform and in a few years no one will remember where they came from and no one will care.

Yes, I love uniforms, but I really don’t like the hassle that comes with deciding what it should look like.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Balancing Act


Writing a blog is a bit of a balancing act. How to include enough detail to be interesting, but little enough to ensure privacy. This wouldn’t be so important if it was just me, but there are the kids as well. I mention them all the time, after all they are a very important part of my life. So how much detail to include? Do I use their names, and if not how do I refer to them? It would be easy if I just had a boy and a girl, but I have two of each. I can’t refer to the younger ones as the little girl and boy for ever. So I asked the kids. The response was: Amber (14), eldest born, wonderful daughter.

Techno boy (11), next one, into everything, still.

Lily (8), actually I forgot what she wanted to be called so am waiting for her to come home from school, my fashionista girl.

Possum (2), bonus baby, into everything.

The unconventional man, my other half,.

Me, well I’m the unconventional wren, and it looks like Amber is following in my footsteps, remains to be seen where the others end up, all part of the fun of the journey that is my family.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Excitement

The 16th of October is here at last (OK, its after that now, but it took a while to set things up), a date I’ve been awaiting since late July when I sat the exam. I logged onto the website to check my results, and after a bit of searching, found the results file. Of course my secret exam results code would start with P, so I scrolled down 12 pages of codes followed by pass/fail. I think the results are about 3:1, so I began to worry for the first time, since sitting the exam. I remembered the slight concern I felt as I was among the first to leave both the morning and afternoon session. I had answered every question, and checked them twice before permission was given to leave. I glanced across at another candidate and she was still less than half way through, I could tell by which page she was on the answer book, but I couldn’t think of any reason to stay. So today I was watching all of those Fails pass me by, they looked so big and final. Finally reached my number and there it was PASS, yes I passed a very important exam, one that will hopefully impact the rest of my life, and give me the chance of an exciting and enjoyable career path out here in the sticks. Time to lift the phone and organise a job. What was the exam you ask, why the excitement, because I can now put the letters IBCLC after my name, I am now an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, so I can get paid for doing something I love so much I’ve been doing it for free for the past 11 years. Now I just need to convince the local community health office that they need me.