Flying Start

Each week Possum and I go to the Flying Start 0-4 year old program at our local primary school. Possum has a ball, so many different toys, so many things to do. I enjoy myself too, a chance to chat with other mums. I enjoy watching Possum follow in Amber’s footsteps by doing everything in his own time. When the others are doing craft he’s playing outside, when the others go outside he wants a book read, when it’s story time he’s moved onto the craft activity. We have a ball, and while we enjoy the cosy atmosphere with only a few other kids, I do wonder why it isn’t reaching the target audience.

Research shows that early exposure to books, craft etc will help kids at school. It also shows that many kids miss out on this exposure in their homes. This program is run with the aim of solving that problem by providing the kind of exposure to books and early learning kids need. Interestingly most of the kids who attend this program come from families that value education and who already have a high exposure to learning opportunities. How do we reach the kids who need it? Another interesting thing I found out this week is that the program isn’t funded in our town, they are running it on an oily rag by using the kindy classroom on its free days, and using all of the kind facilities. Why is it that in a town with consistently low educational outcomes is such an important program ignored? I asked the teacher and she suspects it is because the government is concerned that some mums would use it like day care, and just drop their 0-4 year old off and come back 2 hours later. Not a nice thought.

Cockroach

Just fed the dog. I picked up the packet of dog food from on top of the washing machine, which is whirring away madly, not sure why as it's raining so the clothes won't get dry. As I headed out the door I noticed a huge black cockroach on the top of the food sachet, so flicked it off to land on the verandah somewhere. Opened the packet, turned it over, and guess what, another smaller brown one was hiding in the bottom. Maybe its time to find a new home for the dog food.

Sorry no pics the little blighters move too quickly.

Guilt

I often hear people saying “you make me feel guilty” or “you can’t do that, you’ll make people feel guilty” and I wonder. Sometimes I feel guilty, I certainly feel guilty that over the past year I have eaten way too much junk food and am now paying the price as my summer clothes don’t fit and I am not looking forward to going to the pool. I am right to feel guilty, I knew full well that I was eating badly, and I was pretty sure what the result would be, so I was knowingly doing the wrong thing. Yes I should definitely feel guilty when I have done the wrong thing. And guess what, when I see slim people walking down the street, and then catch a glimpse of myself in the window, I do feel guilty, but I don’t blame them, they have done nothing to make me guilty, I have done it all.

Guilt, like most emotions come from within, that is why I can see a picture and feel one emotion, while you might feel another. The picture is the trigger, but it isn’t the cause of the emotion. Guilt arises from the fact that we are unhappy with our decisions, so if you made the best decision you could at the time, even if it later turns out to be the wrong decision, that is no reason to feel guilt … regret, yes, but guilt, no. I have made quite a few decisions that I regret, however, I know I made the best decisions I could at the time. With the knowledge I have now, I would have done things differently, don’t you just love 20:20 hindsight, but at the time, I did the best I could, certainly no need for guilt. So many people fail at things they want to do, because they don’t get the support and information they need to succeed. These people should feel regret that they didn’t achieve whatever it was, but never guilt. Maybe others should feel guilty for letting them down, for not helping them to do what they wanted or needed to do. So next time you feel guilt, take a second look, did you do the best you could, did you try your hardest and use all the information available, if you did, then maybe you should be feeling regret, or even anger, that the information you needed wasn’t there.

One example in the media at the moment is breastfeeding. 90% of Australian mothers initiate breastfeeding, so that means that 90% of Australian mothers want to breastfeed their babies. That is terrific. The sad thing is that due to lack of support and readily available information half of these mums will not be breastfeeding their baby by the time bub is 6 months old. Sadly, many of these mums feel guilt, because they know that their baby should be breastfed, but isn’t. These mums should not feel guilt, they have tried their hardest, but the support just wasn’t there. Many health professionals don’t know enough about breastfeeding to really support these mums, many parenting books recommend behaviours that will sabotage the breastfeeding relationship. There are so many elements in our society that make breastfeeding hard, it is a wonder that 50% of babies get any breast milk at all at 6 months. So mothers should not feel guilty, they should feel regret that they have not succeeded at something they wanted, but they also need to be aware that the reason it was so hard is that the support is not there. They are told how important it is to breastfeed, but they are not given the information and support necessary. Who do you think should feel guilty, certainly not the mums.

Today is Dad's Birthday

Today is Dad’s birthday, today he would have turned 76. I love my Dad, he was a wonderful man, so strong and capable. He loved all of his kids, and we all loved him. About 11 years ago, he was diagnosed with cancer, he was basically told it was a death sentence; chances are he would be dead within 5 years of diagnosis, only 5% survival rate. So being Dad he decided he would fight and beat the odds. He had surgery, which removed most of the cancer, he did chemo and radiotherapy, which made him really sick, but he did seem to recover. He actually managed to get 5 years more. He died in January 6 years ago. I still think about him often, and so often wish I could ask him what he would do, especially with house repairs and on the farm. Sadly I can’t, but I do ask myself, what would he do, and so often that brings me an answer that works. Every year in November, and January I think about my Dad and miss him so much. I am also very sad that he missed seeing Possum, at least he got to meet the other three. Dad didn’t really relate to babies, so I was looking forward to the kids getting older and getting to know their Granddad really well. Sadly that is never going to happen, as they were under six when he died. I’m sure he would be so impressed and proud of Amber and Techno Boy, and I’m sure he would have enjoyed spending time with them. Sadly they will never know what a wonderful man their Grandfather was.

I miss my Dad.

The Race That Stops The Nation

I’ll let you into a secret here, it doesn’t. I’m sure that over half the population doesn’t have time to more than glance at the TV and at least a quarter really couldn’t care less about a horse race in Melbourne. So who doesn’t have time to watch it? Most medical professionals, after all the sick and dying, don’t stop for a horse race, neither do babies being born. School teachers, yes, all kids go to school on a Tuesday, well except maybe those that live in Victoria where it is a public holiday, in the rest of the country school and work go on as usual (officially for work anyway), so teachers and childcare workers are still hard at it. My mechanic is working today, he is going to be servicing my car among others, he may pause to watch the race, but he won’t be taking the whole day off to celebrate, neither will many other self employed people. People working in hospitality will be flat out, catering for all of those parties that go on. The police will also be kept busy by the drunks careening home after cup day parties and the hospital emergency rooms tend to be busier on days like this. These are the people who have no choice but to ignore the race, then there are those who just don’t like horse racing, yes there are many of us in Australia, and no we aren’t un-Australian, we are just un interested in horse racing. Then there are those who deliberately stay away, because they have gambling or drinking problems and the only way to avoid disaster is to steer clear. Those who have religious objections to gambling, so the whole Muslim and Baha’i population of Australia, plus other religions too, like the Mormons and Seventh Day Adventists, and others that I don't know enough about. In fact when I add it up like this, it is probably more than half the nation that doesn’t stop, so maybe the TV hype should change, life goes on for many of us, while the race slows it for a few.