Proud Mummy Week

I just need to brag, this week has been great.

On Monday, Possum had orientation for kindy (in WA kindy is the first year of school, run by school, at school, for kids who turn 4 by 30th of June). He was so well behaved, he sat and listened to the story, he did all of the craft activities, he played really well with the other kids, I’m so happy.

Tuesday, Techno Boy and Lily had their end of year concert and awards night. It went really well, the kids were great, and got all of the steps right. Bonus is that Lily won the Endeavour award for her year, that means she tries the hardest out of all her peers. Techno Boy won the Science award for year 7 (final year of primary school here in WA), a very prestigious award, with a family pass to Scitech and a year’s subscription to a science mag. To make the evening even better, Otherhalf and Amber ran the lighting and sound, and went off without a hitch, also Possum was very well behaved.

Wednesday, Otherhalf and Amber also did lighting and sound for the other primary school in town.

Today, Amber's end of year assembly, again Possum behaved really well, and Amber received the Italian award.

I'm so proud I could burst.

Conversation with a 3 year old

This morning as Possum and I were heading off to visit mum, we were chatting as usual. Conversation went

Me: I love you

Possum: I love you too

Possum: Daddy loves me?

Me: Yes

Possum: Amber loves me?

Me: Yes

Possum: Techno Boy loves me?

Me: yes (you get the picture?)

Possum: Lily loves me?

Me: yes

Possum: baby loves me?

Me: which baby?

Possum: tiny baby

Me: ???

A little bit pagan

Today as we walked home from Story time at the Library we saw an Eagle. It was a beauty, big and brown and yellow, and black, and so colourful. First it was flapping its wings as it chased the hot air currents, then it was soaring higher and higher. Such a beautiful sight. Possum and I were enthralled and I felt so lucky to see such a wonderful sight in the middle of town. We stopped and watched until we couldn’t see it any more. I felt as if I was up there with it, swooping and soaring on the air, riding the currents. I realised I’m a little bit pagan, and maybe the eagle is my totem. Such a glorious creature, such a glorious day, such a lovely life.

Hand-made Bread

We've been eating homemade bread for years, bread machine bread. On Friday I set the machine up to cook bread, and came back to check on it to find a strange noise. The machine was broken, an essential part, made of plastic had snapped into 4 pieces, so no more bread from the machine, unless we can get a replacement part. I had a bit of a quandary, the ingredients were in and there was no way to separate them, so it was either throw out he flour or made the bread by hand. I had a go at hand made bread, and it wasn't bad, didn't raise very much though. So I got my cook book down and had another try from scratch. its not that hard, and its quite fun, but it does take time.

It only takes about 20 minutes of hands on work, but it takes at least 5 hours from start to finish. First you spend about one minute setting the yeast for activation, come back in 30 minutes and its ready to use. Then 10 minutes kneading the dough, set it to rest for 1 1/2 - 2 hours depending on the room temp. Then 5 minutes to shape the loaf, and set it to rise for 3 or more hours. Then 30 minutes to bake, so a minute to put it in the oven an a minute to take it out. Not much actual work, but you do need to be there. Still I can have a shower while the yeast activates, and I can take Possum to the park, shops or to visit friends while the dough raises, and again while the bread rises, so I don't have to be at home while the bread is getting ready to cook. I do however, need to pop home at intervals, so going to work wouldn't fit.

However, I'm enjoying it, an its the only way we can have home made bread for a while, as I can't afford to replace the machine for a while.

Smaller bear

I made bears for the smaller kids, and Amber wanted one too. However, she didn't want a great big bear to hug, just a smaller one to know that I love her. So here it is, standing on Possum's bear, just to sow the size difference. I used exactly the same pattern as the other bears, just much smaller yarn and a correspondingly smaller hook. It worked out really well, and she is very happy. Now all I have to do is make an orange one for Techno Boy and they'll all have lovely bears.

Little Moon

I have always used cloth nappies on my kids. It never occurred to me to use disposables, I just couldn't see the sense of it, so much money down the drain and so much in landfill.

With Possum, I just didn't have time for all that washing and folding, so I started looking for modern cloth nappies, these don't need folding, they just come as you wear them. While looking for these, I discovered reusable menstrual products. It had never occurred to me that disposable pads were also a waste of money and filling up landfill. I just accepted that that was how I did it.

However, the discovery that lovely pads could be bought online, just like lovely nappies, changed my thinking. So I purchased a heap and love them, they are very comfortable, and so easy to wash. However, while looking into reusable pads, I also found the concept of the menstrual cup. It took me a bit longer to come round to these, however, I bought one recently, and it is the best purchase I have made in years. I love my lunette, it is so comfortable, and I can do anything while wearing it (well almost) and don't have to worry about leakage. I am looking forward to swimming all summer, without having to take a few days off every month.

Life is looking up.

Felted bag

I have just completed my very first completely invented by me project. I have never designed anything before, but while knitting socks (which I don't really enjoy) I was struck by an idea for knitting a felted bag with a mobius loop for a handle. It worked out really well, and I've enjoyed using it over the past few days.

Here is the pattern

Jenny’s felted, mobius, seamless bag

Patons Jet 2 doubled up

3 balls colour 1, 3 balls colour 2 (always knit with both colours)

9mm circular needles on long cable or long DPNs

Cast on 60 stitches using Judy Becker’s magic sock cast on http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEspring06/FEATmagiccaston.html. You will have 30 stitches on each needle. (or as many as you need for your bag)

Increase ever second row until you have 72 stitches (or as many as you need for your bag) Then work in a round until bag is a little longer than you need (remember it will shrink when felted)

3rd last row: knit 69 cast off last 3 (now is a good time to work out how you are gong to do the mobius loop handle, I used interchangeable cable needles and a joiner, so I simply knitted each half of my last row on a different cable and then joined them as a loop.)

2nd last row: cast off 3, knit 30, cast off 6, knit 30, cast on 3.

Last row: cast on 3, knit 30 cast on 3 on one loop, and 3 on the next loop, knit 33.

Sort out your cable needles so you can use Cat Bordhi’s mobius cast on for the handles. Cast on extra stitches using Cat Bordhi’s mobius cast on (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVnTda7F2V4) until you have a loop big enough for your handle.

I did 140 stitches (or 280 depending how you choose to count them)

Knit 2 rows

Purl 1 row

Knit 2 rows

Cast off in knit

Neaten ends (only two ends to neaten yay)

Felt bag.

Dry flat

Enjoy

Bears with heart

Two of my friends are going through a hard time at the moment. One just lost her husband after a two year battle with cancer, and the other has just found out that her cancer is back after a two year reprieve. I think they need a boost, so I made them Bears with Heart. It is the same bear that I posted about earlier and I found a pattern for the heart on the web. I hope my friends love the bears, and feel a little better for receiving them.

It's not them, it's me

I just realised: it's not them, it's me. When we visit them I fit all my plans around the way they live. When they come to visit us, we sort things to suit them. I tend to feel put upon when we part "why are they so selfish?" "why is it all about them?"

Well it just clicked, it isn't. Its just the way I am, I tend to do this all the time. I always fit in with what others want, so it's not them it's me. They are't selfish, I'm a pushover. Very frustrating, but it does make it easier to realise. Turning things around, they aren't at fault, I just need to become a bit more assertive. Easier said than done, but I can do it.

Total Loss

Yes, that’s what the assessor called it, a total loss. Our car that was crashed into three weeks ago, is a total loss, we are not getting it back. It served us well, was great to drive, maybe not so comfortable for the kids. After all it was designed to seat five and we are a family of six, the third row seat is designed for 4 – 8 year olds, so it was great at the beginning. This year we Lily turns 9 and Possum is only 3, so we don’t have any 4-8 year olds any more. We were going to be stuck at home between Lily and Possum’s birthdays, looks like the restrictions have set in early. We are back to being a one car family, and nothing we can do will fit all six of us in our Corolla sedan.

So we are looking to purchase a new family car. The emphasis here is on car, and that is the problem. We have 4 kids, so need a seven seater. I’ve been searching for a good seven seater car, and I can’t find one. I can find heaps of 4WD, or people movers, but we don’t want a 4WD or a mini bus, we want a car. The first week after our car was crashed we hired a Kia Carnival, but we didn’t really like it. It is a mini bus, not a car, it isn’t enjoyable to drive. Have we done ourselves in, will we never enjoy our driving again, just because we had a fourth child. We also spoke to our mechanic, apparently it costs around $1000 to service a Carnival, it used to cost us $150 for the Commodore.

So we need a new car, and we need one that is easy to service and good to drive. We don’t ask for much do we. If anyone who reads this blog, knows about a good 7 seater car (and I mean car, not 4WD or mini bus) please let me know, I’m getting desperate, they don’t seem to exist. Of course we aren’t desperate to buy one, we haven’t got the money from insurance yet, and it’s going to cost way more than we get from them. Oh the other difficulty is we really don’t want to spend more than $40,000. I don’t ask for much do I?

Voyage of Discovery Part 3

At the end of grade 1 Techno Boy had learnt very little. His teacher had just ignored him, allowed him to go his own way, do what he liked and not what he didn’t. He was a quite child, didn’t disturb the class so she didn’t see any problems. He never had meltdowns, he never made much noise, and he also didn’t learn to write or spell anything. At the end of grade one he could write his name, that was it. He could count to 1000, he could add and subtract, he could read a little, but he couldn’t write. Amber was writing sentences at the end of grade 1, so we began to worry. Looked like things weren’t going well after all, we were very unhappy with his teacher.

Grade 2, well the whole class was behind, but he had a wonderful teacher, she was our lifesaver. One day after school she asked me if Techno Boy could have Aspergers syndrome, as he had many behaviours similar to her nephew who had recently been diagnosed with this. We took him back to the visiting paediatrician who said, no chance, he is too social. So we continued worrying. He hated school. We decided that he couldn’t have aspergers, but he clearly had a learning difficulty, he still couldn’t spell anything, he would just put any random letters down. So we took him to a private paediatrician who specialised in learning difficulties. She sat with him for half an hour and spoke to him, got him to read to her, and really paid attention to him. She suggested he might have aspergers. So we started down the path to get a diagnosis. At first we went public, but a friend on the inside told me we could be waiting over 12 months, we just didn’t’ have the time, he was starting grade 3 and still couldn’t spell. So we went private, got a diagnosis within 6 weeks, and a teaching aid the next week.

After that our journey got a interesting, we had to travel to Perth regularly for speech therapy as the local service only does early intervention. Sadly our diagnosis came so late that Techno Boy was not eligible for Early Intervention, so we had to travel regularly to Perth and pay through the nose for help. Still it helped a lot, after a year he could tell a story that was almost coherent, it had a beginning, middle and an end. Only problem was that the middle went all over the country before we got to the end. Still life is better now.

We continued to allow Techno Boy the freedom to be himself at home, but at school he had to learn to fit in. So many simple things were difficult, like closing the door in the toilets, blowing his nose when it was runny (still haven’t mastered this one), covering his mouth when coughing. Sitting quietly when waiting. Understanding when is a good time to ask a question, understanding which questions are OK in the class, and which should be asked privately afterwards. School is hard for Techno Boy, every day he spends half an hour winding down when he gets home, then he pops in for a bit of afternoon tea before another half hour of winding down out side.

Amber, Lily and Possum accept him for what he is and help him through many potential problems. They are wonderful children. Possum arriving in our lives when Techno Boy was 9 was a great thing for him. Babies don’t speak but they communicate so much through other means. Techno Boy learnt a lot about non verbal communication through having a baby in the house. He also learnt a lot about caring for others and helping those who are less able than he is. Having a baby in the house taught him about sharing and about being selfless. We are so lucky that we had Possum when we did, Techno Boy really learnt a lot. We watch Possum do things, and remember that Techno Boy didn’t do them. Sadly Possum is already more advanced socially than his older brother.

One car down

We went to Perth last week, we often go there for a few days during the holidays. On Thursday Hubby and Amber went to a gym coaching course. They learned heaps. The other three kids and I took the bus to Kings Park and had a ball. Possum loved the bus, first time my country kids have been on public transport, they found it really exciting. We caught up with some friends, Thursday was a great day. Friday wasn’t so good.

On Friday morning we all woke up after two bad nights, so were tired and grumpy. We headed to Uni to pick up my text book, and to have a family photo whith Hubby in his academic regalia (he graduated from his MBA earlier this year). Things started to go wrong, we did get my text book and some other useful books, however there was a graduation on, so the line for photos was too long. We decided to prebook next time.

So we headed home, drove down Berwick Street towards Canning Hwy, we were slowing down for the intersection and as we drove past the fast food place, with a van to our left, a 4WD pulled out and hit us. He couldn't see us past the van, which turned in. I was chatting with the kids when suddenly this huge maroon monster came straight at me. Luckily Hubby and the driver were aware and pulled away from each other, but we still crunched. The 4WD was attached to our front left wing, my door was blocked shut. We were stuck in the middle of a busy road, with four kids in the car and no way of getting away. Hubby got out and then Amber hopped out to help, I kept the other three in the car while I rang our insurance to see about help.

When the tow truck arrived we all hopped out and carefully crossed the road to a vacant block and watched the tow truck diver separate our vehicles and then we road in the tow truck to the panel beaters. Another excitement for the kids, but definitely something we could have done without. We spent the next three hours at the panel beaters talking to our insurance, and the other driver’s insurance, trying to sort out how we would get home. Our insurance was happy for us to catch the train home at 7am on Saturday, so they were happy to pay for accommodation on Friday night. We weren’t happy with that. Imagine trying to cart 6 people’s Perth luggage, plus all the miscellaneous junk from the car home on a train. Not only that to get to the train station on time we’d have to get up at 5 am. After more discussion, we organized a car from one group and accommodation from the other, so we spent another night in Perth, and drove home the next day.

The staff at the panel beaters were so helpful, they gave us a good idea of what was reasonable to expect from insurance, and they were so happy to have us crowding their office. They offered the kids food and drinks and luckily they had some Garfield comics so the older kids were entertained. They were great.

On Saturday morning we picked up an 8 seater, packed all our junk into it and came home. Must say I didn't like it, it doesn't like going round curves faster than 60 so once we got out of the city, it was very frustrating, it just didn't want to turn. We definitely aren't getting one of those if our car is written off. Actually I hope the car isn't written off, as I like it and we can't really afford another, even with the insurance.

Voyage of Discovery Part 2

When Lily was 3 months old and Techno Boy was 3 ¾ he started kindy, this was when the problems began. We had never had any trouble with him before that, but at kindy they tried to jam our square peg into a round hole, and he just didn’t fit. Amber had really enjoyed kindy, she just slotted into the routines and patterns of school with ease. She walked into the room, saw how others behaved and followed the cues, she saw what the teacher wanted and gave it to her. Techno Boy saw none of this. He saw a room full of toys and wanted to play. He was meant to go 4 half days, which I felt was too much for a 3 year old, so I sent him three half days. Within a short while I realised that was too much for him and kept him home another day. He didn’t enjoy kindy, I couldn’t understand it, Amber had had so much fun. One day he came home and asked me “when will I be good” I nearly cried, he already was good, he was my wonderful boy, how could his teacher do this to him.

I took him to the visiting paediatrician (when you live in the bush, that is what you get if you are lucky). He asked me lots of questions. Watched the boy play, and heard him talk to me, asked a few questions of the boy about the toys and got quite sensible answers. His diagnosis was poor parenting, too much TV, not enough interaction. He also thought that we weren’t paying him enough attention because of Lily, but Lily was an easy baby, and I could do anything while feeding or holding her. So we went home and worked on all these things, didn’t help at all. I watched him with the TV, he didn’t really watch it, it was just background noise, something that Amber was watching.

He was a lot happier at pre primary, Lily loved it too, they both enjoyed doing art at the school on my parent helper days. Techno Boy still had problems, and the teacher was worried, still at the beginning we thought it was just the result of the hard year he had at kindy. Half way through we had him assessed by the school psych, IQ test, query ASD. Well he ceilinged the test, that means he got so many right that they ran out of questions. We had been considering holding him back because he clearly wasn’t coping, but after this we decided maybe he was just too bright for this, and would do better when he started real learning. So we progressed him to grade one.

I explained his difficulties to his new teacher and she just ignored me. After all she was the expert, I was just some ignorant mother, I didn’t realise she had ignored me until later. I checked in regularly, she reassured me, “Techno Boy is doing really well, No problems.” I relaxed, we had made the right decision, he just needed the extra stimulation of real learning. We sat back and enjoyed our year. Techno Boy wasn’t really happy at school, but he didn’t complain. I heard from older boys that he was doing a few odd things, so I sorted them myself. The teacher was still saying he was doing really well. It was during grade one that we began to think Lily was a social genius, she was more socially adept than her brother.

Voyage of Discovery

Having kids is a voyage of discovery. So many different things to discover while bringing them up, so many gems of personality to help unearth. I feel though that our journey with Techno Boy has been a bit more stormy than with the other three (although we are only beginning Possum’s journey so no idea what it will bring). This is because Techno Boy has apsergers syndrome. He is different to the rest of us.

When Amber was three, Techno Boy entered our lives. Amber was a delight, and so was Techno Boy. They were very different, but that was OK, all children are different and of course boys and girls are different. We were happy. Amber was a strong personality and had taught us to let our child form there own niche in life. In our house we didn’t force square pegs into round holes, we let the little pegs create their own little holes that fit them perfectly. This was Amber’s gift to our family, children are individuals and need to make their own holes. We needed this gift to help us deal with Techno Boy. We had learned the lesson so well that we had no trouble with Techno Boy, he was a delight just like his older sister.

I had the occasional moment of concern. I remember thinking that he wasn’t getting as much attention as his sister had. I remember noticing that I didn’t play that babble game with him, we didn’t babble back and forth like I had with Amber. So I tried to play it with him, and he just wasn’t interested, so I accepted that he didn’t want to play that. After all he was an individual, it was his own choice. Another gift Amber had given us was the knowledge that breastfeeding was good for toddlers too, we had breastfed until she was 2 ¾, so we did the same for Techno Boy, in fact we fed him until he was a week shy of his third birthday. This gave him lots of cuddle time, lots of time connected to me, lots of time to feel loved and to feel safe and comfortable. Looking back I feel he really benefited from this. It was so good for him to be breastfed and held close until he was three.

When he was 3 ½ Lily was born, she was an easy baby. Lily slotted into our lives with ease, she went anywhere anywhen with no hassles. She could feed any time and sleep anywhere. Life just flowed around her, and I just took her everywhere. Her birth changed nothing, we still took Amber and Techno Boy to kindy gym, ABA meetings and school. Life really didn’t change when Lily came along, she was a delight to add to our family, fitted in with no hassles. I sometimes think Techno Boy didn’t even realise she was there. Other times he knew full well, after all I did have to sit and feed her sometimes, so he was no longer the youngest and centre of attention. He had to move out of my bed and into his own, life did move on for Techno Boy, but he was fine with it.

Well, I didn't get the job

On the 13^th of June I blogged about how busy my life was about to get, with a job in the offing. I applied for the job and on the next Wednesday I had an interview, at very short notice. Luckily hubby could look after Possum at 1:30 so I could sell myself to the local librarian. Sadly someone else with better qualifications came along. They were looking for someone to run the kids programs and she has early childhood qualifications. Of course I haven’t finished my library studies yet, so don’t out rank her. So luckily (yes it is good news) I don’t have a job yet. The only reason I applied was that it was a permanent job, if I had got the job it would have been extremely inconvenient for us now, but terrific for our future. I really can’t afford a job for at least 12 months, maybe 18 when Possum starts full time pre primary.

I’m looking forward to studying this coming semester, should be great, and glad that I won’t have to fit it around work as well as family. Interestingly enough one of my great friends from school has recently started working at my University, luckily she won’t be teaching the units I’m enrolled in, otherwise it might have been a bit tricky. Still I’m so proud of her for doing so well with her library career, it is great to see your friends succeed.

Circus

Copyright Circus Royale

The Circus has come to town! The last time we had a circus in town was 4 or 5 years ago, so this is exciting.

Last night I took the middle two kids to see the circus, we all had a ball. Amber didn’t come because she has just returned from school camp and was exhausted, too many late nights and early mornings. Possum didn’t come because he’s too young, and I didn’t want to have to chase him all around the building. My Mum came, she paid, thank you Mum, you’re a gem.

The circus was great, so much fun, the magic was all there. We loved it. One great thing was they had no exotic animals, just normal domesticated pets or farm animals. First animals we saw were three steers, they walked around the ring a few times, then stepped up onto steps and stared at the audience. I was so glad we didn’t have front row seats, even gladder later on. Then a tiny pony raced in and ran under the steers’ stomachs, rather interesting, round and round then out they all went. Then there was a dancing poodle, seemed to enjoy itself. There were a couple of camels who marched disdainfully around the ring three times, then went back out. Four little ponies who jumped over and through hoops and played tricks by avoiding their turns for jumping. Three lovely silky terriers, who played around and did their best to avoid jumping over and through hoops, the kids really enjoyed it. Lily’s jaw dropped so often we needed to pick it up off the floor. However, she wasn’t overly impressed when the steers and camels pooed on the floor.

The clown was fun, he called a couple of volunteers from the audience, the other reason I was glad not to be in the front row, and made them do funny things. The there was a man who squeezed into a bottle (I think he was the clown), I thought Mum was going to throw up when he did it. They had a juggler who juggled six batons at a time, he also juggled soccer balls, and silk scarves. A lady who balanced on a bike, and juggled at the same time. A young man who did all manner of strength tricks with the juggling guy. A young lady who used Russian silks, then spun around on a hanging hoop. The kids were enthralled, so was I. A young lady who did hoop tricks, her finale was to spin a couple around her and then the others threw hoops at her, until she was spinning so many you could only see her feet and head, everyone was impressed. The finale of the show and most wonderful of all was the ring of death. The dog trainer also did this one, and he walked around and round, and up and down on this wheel as it spun up and down. Then to really stress us out he did it blindfolded.

We loved the circus and the kids want to go back today. Maybe we can organise for Amber to go, but I think she will spend most of the day in bed. The circus is welcome to come back anytime, and we’ll be first in line to see it.

Oh and mustn’t forget the geese. Someone wrangled 6 geese around the ring, up a slide and down the other side. Lots of fun.

It doesn't rain, it pours

Life has suddenly got busy. Possum is three, so I was beginning to get a little bored with full time stay at home mum. I made plans, re-enrolled at Uni, to finish my Grad Dip, I have three units to go, so should be finished in 18 months. I volunteered to help some research at said Uni (filled in and posted off the relevant paperwork), it should be fun, all about supporting breastfeeding mums and the difference good quality, easily available support can make, I’m the good quality support. I increased my commitment to helping train breastfeeding counsellors, I promised to run a unit in July, September and November. Then, just when I thought I would be busy enough, I had a phone call from a new mum in town, and as a result am seriously considering restarting ABA group meetings here in town. Then Mum noticed a job add, so now ….. Well now I have a job opportunity too good to miss. So from having nothing to do except play with Possum, now I’m going to be lucky to have time to play with him. Still we need the money and hubby can shift his work hours to look after Possum for 12 hours a week. Life will be busy, but then hubby is good around the house, at least the house will get some work done while I’m away.

8 posts in 8 days

Well its day 13, and it looks like I only managed 8 posts in 8 days, good thing I didn’t commit myself to it. I knew it would be hard, staying at home with kids keeps you busy, but it doesn’t really inspire extra thought. Maybe if I had done it in July, when I’m going to be so busy, I doubt I’ll have time to sit at the computer and blog. I’ll have to keep you all up to date. I’m so impressed with those who have managed to keep up the post count. Of course I didn’t really commit to it, so maybe I would have done better if I had promised the whole world I would do it, rather than just promising myself that I would give it a go. Big difference.

Just Good Luck

My kids are wonderful, yes I am biased. I was chatting with another mum the other day and we were saying how lucky we were that out kids were so well behaved, and we didn’t know what we had done wrong when they misbehaved, because of course all kids are good and bad. I thought about it for a minute, you can’t have it both ways, well actually mums don’t get it either way. If the kids are good it is luck, if they are bad it is something we have done wrong. It’s a lose lose situation.

My kids are all good looking, now this is really good luck, they have somehow managed to get all the good genes from both of us, well except for teeth, they have lucked out there. So their looks truly are good luck, after all physically it is a bit of a lucky dip. My kids are also really well behaved, most of the time, and I like to think that this is more than just luck. I think it is the result of the time and effort I have put into them over the past 15 years. OK, so I’m lucky I can afford to be a stay at home mum, but then again, we have chosen to live simply so that we can live on one income. We have four kids in a three bedroom house, we don’t have lots of electronic stuff, our TV is small, our car is old. We choose these things so that we can afford to live on one income and I can afford to spend time with the kids. I really do think we are benefiting from all the time I put in, I don’t think it is all down to luck.

So please think about how wonderful your kids are and claim the good as well as the bad. The good isn’t all luck and the bad isn’t all our fault, both are a combination of luck and the way we have brought the kids up.

Climbing Rocks

Today was a public holiday, so no school or work, just family time. My cousin is visiting from interstate so we thought, time for some fun. Today’s fun activity was a picnic at a rock in a nearby town. We live in an area that has lots of granite breakaways, that are great fun to climb. I take the kids rock climbing at least once every holiday time, maybe more often.

Today we introduced my cousin to the joys of climbing rocks, she was impressed, asked if I’m rearing mountain goats, not children. Maybe we are, they were certainly more energetic than I am. End of the day, the kids and I are exhausted, ready for an early night. We had a ball.

Quitting Facebook

Yes, I am a bit behind the times, everyone else quit on the 31st. But thanks to Quit Facebook day I have finally found out how to quit completely. I deactivated my account once, but it just wasn't the same. So this time, I'm going to contact all my friends to get some details, like email addresses and then I'll quit for good. I've wanted to do this for quite some time, and have not been able to work it out. Now with the help of the following I will be able to quit for good: http://www.wikihow.com/Permanently-Delete-a-Facebook-Account

On another note, this is yesterday's post. Doing 30 posts in 30 days is proving to be as hard as I expected. Not sure what I'll post today :)

Knitting with circular needles

I love knitting, it is very relaxing. Recently I discovered the delight of knitting on circular needles. I used to knit beanies flat and seam them at the back, because I could not master double pointed needles, I suspect it is something you have to see in action to comprehend, and I’ve never had that opportunity. So I’ll stick with my circular needles. But then I discovered that circs can be used for more than just circular knitting, they are a lifesaver with flat knitting too. You can’t lose the other needle, its attached to the end of the cable. The other bonus is that your knitting won’t fall off the end of your needle while in your bag, as you simply pull the needle out and the knitting hangs on the cable. Life saving when working on an adult jumper, which just squeezes onto a regular needle, and often used to try jumping off. So yes I love my circs, have you guessed?

So recently I tried a new innovation, the seamless garment. The picture is of a seamless cardi I’m making for Possum. You start at the top and work down. When you get to the underarms, the sleeve parts are put onto holders (or in my case, spare cables) and you just keep on working down. When I finish the back and fronts, I’ll go back and do the sleeves then I’ll pick up stiches and knit the front panel and collar on. So when I cast off for the last time, it will be ready to wear, no sewing involved. Yes, I know it just looks strange, but I’ll update on it when finished.

My other new adventure in knitting is two at a time socks. Yes the circular needles are great here too; I knit my socks from the toe up, so here you see two toes, hanging on the cables. The beauty here is that I don’t have to count rows I just knit until it is big enough, then do the heal then do the rest until I run out of yarn. Again, I’ll update on these socks when I’ve finished them.

The Park

Took Possum to the park this morning. We had lots of fun. He absolutely loves the swing. When he gets a bit fractious at home, its off to the park for a swing. He tolerates the swing in our back yard, but prefers the park. Of course its not only the swing that keeps him happy. He loves the slide and the telescope (well not a real telescope), he loves to make sand castles, but most of all, he just loves to play with any other child who is there. So long as they don’t take his swing.

Its great to get out and enjoy the lovely weather we have been having lately, and its lovely to chat with the other parents at the park. Not so nice to see the High School students sitting around wasting time, and using bad language. Although most of the time behind that teenage bravado they are still the lovely kids I knew a few years back. Pity they are wagging school though. Still the park is a delightful way to while away the morning.

Study

I just bit the bullet, yesterday I contacted my University and asked if I could come back to complete my Grad Dip. I haven’t done any work on it since 2008. While it is great that I passed the Lactation Consultant exam, sadly that isn’t a career path for me out here in the bush. I’ll probably be lucky to make enough money to pay for my professional affiliation, let alone anything to actually spend on the family, so really IBCLC is a hobby for me. I need a career on top of it, and I have just over half a professional qualification, time to finish it, and maybe go back to work when possum is in full time school.

So as of July I’ll be back to studying, three units to go, I aim to finish at the end of 2011, and then maybe get a part time job in my local library and wait for the librarian to decide to move on. I spoke to her the other day, and she certainly doesn’t plan on staying here for ever, she’ll probably move on when her daughter hits High School, so maybe my career will pan out in about 2015. I hope she stays long enough for me to finish the degree and get some experience, so I can do the job.

30 posts in 30 days

A friend, whose blog I follow, is participating in this. I read her blog and thought why not? If she can do it, I can do it, then I thought, maybe not. Still I’m going to try. It’s a bit daunting to produce 30 blogs over the next month, especially as I posted nothing in May. So that means 30 ideas that I want to share with the world, or at least the small part of the world that reads my blog. Challenging, but I think I can do it. Some of these posts will be pretty short, but we’ll see how I go.

Phases

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a parent say “he/she’s just going through a phase” I’d be a rich woman. Children are always changing, growing and developing. Many parents seem to look at every stage as a phase that the child is going through. They are constantly waiting for the child to come out of that phase and become a wonderful person. I find that kind of sad, it seems like they are never quite satisfied with the child they have today, and are always waiting for the mythical improvement that is just around the corner.

I look at my kids and see them, just as they are, the way they are today is the child I love right now. Of course I know they will grow up and I often wonder what they will be like in 5 or 10 years, but I’m not desperately waiting for them to grow out of whatever phase they are in right now. I’m enjoying them where they are at, just the way they are right now.

I’m not sure where this going through a phase idea comes from, but I wonder how helpful it really is. I don’t think parents find it very relaxing waiting for their kids to get through this phase, then the next. I must say I find it enjoyable just watching my kids and enjoying them where they are today. Maybe as parents we need to stop looking forward for a moment, and enjoy the now, just like our little ones do. There is so much pleasure in being in the moment, and I think it might be helpful as parents to be in the moment with our kids, and enjoy them right now in this moment, at this stage.

21 again

Yes today is our 21^st wedding anniversary. Yay Us! 4 kids and still going strong, not sure what we are doing to celebrate as it is a school night, but I have plans for an enjoyable dinner. Yum!

Smacking

Recently a few mums I know have been told by older people that their children need a good smack. It makes me wonder, firstly what is a good smack? I can’t see anything good in a smack, certainly not if you are on the receiving end. I also wonder how much they remember of their childhood and how it felt to be smacked. Some of these mums have told me that one reason they don’t smack their children is that they still remember the humiliation and betrayal they felt being hit by the people they loved most. So it set me thinking, its 15 years since I decided I would not be smacking my children, why did I make this decision?

Basically it was very simple, when Amber was a couple of months old I was sitting in a park feeding her and watching the kids playing. One child hit another, as little kids often will, and his mother’s response really set me thinking. She grabbed him by the arm and smacked him, then said “we don’t” smack “hit” smack “people”. It seemed odd to me to try to teach someone not to hit people by hitting them. It certainly made me think. I thought some more about why people smack their kids and what it was telling them, and I came to the conclusion that there was no situation (that I could think of then, and still haven’t found one) where there wasn’t a more appropriate action. I also realised that all smacking teaches is that bigger and stronger people can hit smaller and weaker people, or maybe even that might is right.

I certainly didn’t want to teach my children that they could do what they wanted if they were strong enough, so I thought more about how to discipline my kids. It’s a complex topic. I remember my mother telling me about the one time my father smacked me, yes he only smacked me once. I managed to get to 3 without him feeling the need to smack me, so when he did I got quite a shock, and I cried for the rest of the day, but not only that I wouldn’t talk to him, wouldn’t look at him and certainly wouldn’t hug him. I went to bed sobbing because the one person I could depend on to love me had hit me. My mother used to occasionally smack me, but after that she cut it right back too. I think they saw the betrayal I had felt that the people who loved and cared for me had hit me. So knowing that my parents rarely smacked me, yet knowing that I was a very well behaved child, I pondered what did they do that made me behave.

I know as a child I didn’t behave well out of fear of being hit, because it really didn’t happen that often. Thinking more I realised I behaved out of fear, but out of fear of hurting my parents, out of fear of disappointing them, fear of letting them down, just simply fear that they would be sad that I had misbehaved. So I behaved well to make my parents happy, and to have them praise me and be proud of me. Looking back, yes my parents were a bit conditional in their love, because I behaved to earn their love.

I realised that if I worked it right, my kids would want to behave because they knew that was what I wanted from them. So while I give my kids unconditional love, and love them no matter what, which they know. They also know that I am happier if they behave well, they don’t like me getting grumpy and unhappy because they have been naughty. They also love it when I tell them how well they are doing, and that I am proud of the way they behave. Yes on occasion I will send them to their rooms, or give them a time in, where they have to sit with me and watch everyone else having fun, but mostly they are good because they know that is what I want of them.

I have also noticed that tired and hungry kids have trouble behaving, so when my kids get a bit grotty, I will offer them food or a rest, and that seems to work, they will behave better afterwards. They really want to be good kids, because that is what works best, they want others to enjoy their company, and they know that by behaving others will enjoy their company. My kids have learned that the consequences of misbehaviour is that others don’t want to be with them, so loneliness, the consequence of good behaviour is friends and company and fun.

So when my kids misbehave in public, as they occasionally do, and others suggest I smack them, I find that the best thing is to feed them, or cuddle them, or just take them home. Works every time. There is no way I’m going to smack my kids, no matter what they do.

Theism/Atheism

The recent Global Atheist Convention held in Melbourne generated some interesting conversations and commentary. The ones I found most fascinating were the people who asked the organisers “as you believe in nothing, what will you be talking about” or “will you be discussing the devil”. Both of these questions demonstrate a scary level of ignorance. Theism is the belief in a supernatural higher being who may or may not interfere in our lives. While a tight definition of this doesn’t really include the devil, if you think about it, he is a supernatural being who is said to interfere in people’s lives.

I found it fascinating that people would think that atheists believe in nothing, they simply don’t believe in a higher power, they still believe that when they flick the switch the lights will come on, they still believe that we are “a rock revolving around a golden sun”. You can believe in global warming, without belief in God, you can believe in the innate goodness of people without belief in God. You can believe so many things without believing in God. So the Atheists would have been able to find many things to discuss at their convention, besides their lack of belief in God.

I definitely believe in the innate goodness of people, I watched my babies from birth, and their only desire was to be good and to please their parents, they loved us from the first day. I don’t swear, my kids don’t swear, they never invented their own swear words, which they certainly would have done if they were born evil. I know night waking is often seen as babies being naughty, but I don’t think it is any naughtier than Lily not doing differential calculus, she’s only eight and hasn’t learnt it yet, a 2 month old hasn’t learnt to sleep through the night yet either. Both need time to learn things, and both are trying very hard to fit our expectations, because they are born good.

So what do I believe, well … I definitely believe in God, but I don’t believe in the Devil, I don’t see the need for an opposite number. God shows people the way they should travel and then gives them the choice, they don’t need the devil to tempt them off the straight path, they can stray all on their own. So to all those who say the devil made me do it … I don’t believe you, I think you did it on your own accord. I believe that God has a plan for the world and all the people on it, but he gave us a choice and as a result he has to sit back and watch us suffer sometimes because choices go wrong. He is always there to help if we ask for it, just as a loving parent is for kids who fall off the swings.

I really hope the Atheists enjoyed their convention and got a lot out of it. I think everyone needs the chance to gather with others who share their beliefs, and to have the support of like-minded people. That is after all one of the reasons for organised religion, that people can get together with like minded people and share their beliefs. Atheists have just as much right to this as the rest of us, and I do think, that at the moment, they possibly need it more.

Weight Loss 2

I was planning on updating my weight loss each month, but like most bloggers I got a bit lazy and haven’t really been posting as much. My original plan was to post at least once a week, and even though I have written more blog posts, I don’t seem to find the time to post them. Of course with the kids back at school I am busier, but still, it doesn’t take that long.

Back on track though, my weight loss for February and March is a grand total of 3.5kg, which isn’t all that much, but it is actually better than my plans. So far since the first of January I have lost 6.4kg. I lost a lot more in January because I was going to the pool every day and getting lots of exercise. Since school has gone back, I’m not getting as much real exercise so I’m not losing as much. I have to get out on the tramp more, but its still too hot during the day time, and too busy in the morning and evening. Still the weather is cooling, hopefully I’ll lose more in April from the extra jumping, although the extra chocolate may cancel that out.

We’ll just have to wait and see.

Crochet Bear

I recently purchased a book of crochet patterns and in it was a gorgeous home made teddy bear. The idea of making one myself was so tempting, I gave in and decided to give it a go. Only problem is that on looking closer I really didn’t like the pattern, it didn’t really look like a bear, so many little things that just weren’t right. So I started searching the net for the perfect teddy bear pattern, and guess what, I couldn’t find one anywhere. Of course everyone has a different idea of what a bear should look like, so I presume the designers were happy with their designs, but I could see so many things that needed to change. One had the perfect feet, another the perfect arms, another had great ears, and another a great body. So I combined them all, and made a scrawny ugly bear, that just wasn’t right, Lily loved it though, so it’s hers. So more work, more modifications, and I made a fairly nice bear, a few changes needed here or there, but not quite right. More modifications and now I’m happy with it. So here is my version of the perfect crocheted teddy bear.

Measurement 36cm

Materials
12 ply yarn any colour
6mm hook
Polyfil
Black 8 ply for nose, eyes and claws
4.5mm hook.

Crochet each stitch tightly when crocheting animals in the round.

Leg (Make 2)
Make a magic circle
Rnd 1: 10 dc in the round. (10)
Rnd 2: 2 dc in ea st. (20)
Rnd 3: *2 dc in the next st, 1 dc in the next st* repeat around. Slip st last st in this rnd. Ch 1. (30)
Rnd 4: In the back loops only, 1 dc in ea st. Slip st last st in this rnd. Ch 1. (30)
Rnd 5&6: 1 dc in ea st. (30)
Rnd 7: 1 dc in the next 5 st *Dc next two sts together*10 times, 1 dc in the next 5 st (20)
Rnd 8-22: 1 dc in ea st. (20)
Rnd 23: stuff firmly at bottom, and lightly at top. Finish off the first leg only. But, think of the first leg as leg#2 in the body instructions. Do not finish off second leg. Consider the second leg to be leg#1.

Body (worked straight onto legs)
Rnd 1: Both legs held together with right sides facing, 1 dc in ea of 10 sts in leg#1, 1 dc in ea of the 20 sts in leg#2, 1 dc in the remaining 10 sts in leg#1. (40)
Rnd 2: *2 dc in the next st, 1 dc in ea of the next 1 st* repeat 10 times at back, *2 dc in the next st, 1 dc in ea of the next 3 sts* repeat 5 times at front (55)
Rnd 3-21: 1 dc in ea st. (55) At this point, stuff the legs and lower body. Align marker with hip
Rnd 22: dc next 2 st together, 1 dc in next 12, dc next 2 st together, 1 dc in next 12, dc next 2 st together, place extra marker, 1 dc in next 25 st (52)
Rnd 23: dc next 2 st together, 1 dc in next 23, dc next 2 st together, 1 dc in next 25 st (50)
Rnd 24: *dc next 2 st together, 1 dc in next 21, dc next 2 st together* 2 times (46)
Rnd 25: *dc next 2 st together, 1 dc in next 19, dc next 2 st together* 2 times (42)
Rnd 26: *dc next 2 st together, 1 dc in next 17, dc next 2 st together* 2 times (38)
Rnd 27: *dc next 2 st together twice, 1 dc in next 21, dc next 2 st together twice* 2 times (30)
Rnd 28: *dc next 2 st together, 1 dc in next dc* repeat 10 times (20)
Rnd 29: 1 dc in each dc (20)

Head
Work straight onto body
Rnd 1: 1 dc in each dc (20)
Rnd 2: *dc in next dc, 2 dc in next dc* repeat (30)
Rnd 3: *2dc in next dc, dc in each next 2 dc* (40) (stuff body)
Rnd 4: *dc into each next 3 st, 2 dc in next st* repeat (50)
Rnd 5 – 16: 1 dc into each st (50)
Rnd 17: *dc next 2 st together, 1 in next 3 st* repeat (40)
Rnd 18: *1 dc in next 2 dc, dc next 2 st together* (30)
Rnd 19: *1 dc in next 4, dc next 2 st together* (25)
Rnd 20&21: *dc next 2 st together, 1 dc in next* repeat 14 times (11) stuff head
Rnd 22&23: *dc next 2 st together* repeat 8 times (3)
Rnd 24: ss then finish. Weave ends in

Arms (Make 2)
Magic circle
Rnd 1: 10 dc in the circle. (10)
Rnd 2: 2 dc in ea st. (20)
Rnd 3-5:1 dc in ea st. (20)
Stuff the hand and arm a little as you go along. Stuff the upper arm loosely.
Rnd 6: *Dc next 2 sts together* repeat 7 times, 1 dc in ea of the next 6 sts (15)
Rnd 7: 1 dc in ea of the next 7 sts, 2 dc in next 6 sts (19)
Rnd 8-20: 1 dc in ea st. (19) Stuff
Rnd 21: work 9 dc across working through both layers. Finish off, leaving enough yarn to sew to body.

Ears (Make 2)
Magic circle
Rnd 1: 10 dc into circle, mark end of round, do not join (10)
Rnd2: 2 dc in each dc (20)
Rnds 3 - 6: dc in each dc (20)
Row 7: fold ear in half with wrong sides together, c1, work 10 dc across working through both layers. Finish off, leaving enough yarn to sew to head

Muzzle
Magic circle
Rnd 1: 10 dc into circle, mark end of round, do not join (10)
Rnd2: 2 dc in each dc (20)
Rnds 3 - 5: dc in each dc. Finish off, leaving yarn to sew to head.

Tail
Magic Loop
Rnd 1: 10 dc in loop. (10)
Rnd 2: *2 dc in next st, 1 dc in next st* around. (15)
Rnd 3-6: dc around. (15) Fasten off, leaving tail for sewing to body

Eyes (make 2) and nose
4 chain
4 tr in first chain, leaving last loop on hook.
Bring yarn through all 5 loops
Slst finish off, leaving enough yarn to sew on.

No Shampoo

I’m going no shampoo again. I’ve done it a couple of times before, but with limited success. Over the years I have found that no matter which shampoo I used, my scalp itches. It is so annoying, I just want it to stop. A couple of years ago, I read about going “no shampoo”. The theory is that the more we wash our hair, the more we need to wash our hair, because shampoo strips all the oil from our hair and then our body responds by producing more. I did find that I had gradually worked up from washing my hair once a week, to twice a week and was finding that wasn’t enough. So I decided to stop washing my hair. The blog I read suggested just stopping, and only using water on your hair, it promised that if I could hold out for 12 weeks, my hair would be terrific. Well I held out for 4 months and my hair was just lank and oily. It was a total disaster, well not quite total, my scalp felt better than it ever had. So I went back to shampoo and found I could now wash once a week, and my hair was fine, so partial success.

After a while I tried again, this time with carb soda and vinegar. The blog said mix carb soda with water and use it to wash your hair, then rinse in vinegar. Again no success, my scalp felt great, but my hair was lank and oily. So back to shampoo. Next idea was to try conditioner only, total failure this time, my hair was lank and my scalp still itched. I gave up on the idea of no shampoo and bought myself some really expensive salon shampoo that my hairdresser promised would not itch. The itch remained. I was getting desperate. I thought about going no shampoo often, but knew it would lead to lank oily hair, so I decided I just had to suffer the itchy scalp.

Then inspiration. I realised I had diluted the carb soda too much. I had been putting a teaspoon into 250ml of water, it had dissolved and basically had no power left for my hair. So I changed the plan. 1 tablespoon (or there about) into a container, and about the same vinegar into another, take them to the shower and mix just before I used them. I put just enough water in the carb soda to make a fairly runny paste, probably a couple of tablespoons, then put it in my hair. I could feel the granules in my hair, but best of all it tingled on my scalp, I could feel it reacting with the oil and water in my hair. When I rinsed it out, my hair felt clean. The vinegar rinse was very effective and now my hair feels good, and my scalp, after three washes, no longer itches. I have found the solution to my hair problem. No shampoo is definitely the way to go.

Back to School

School resumed this week. The kids were very excited to get back to see their friends and to have a change from being with me all day. We had a bit of an exciting beginning, I’d spent the whole holiday thinking that school went back on Tuesday. So we had a relaxed weekend, planning to spend Monday making sure everything was ready. Just before bed on Sunday a friend from Perth mentioned her kids were starting back on Monday, I just thought we were starting later because we are country folk. Then Monday morning, I wondered, so I checked last years newsletter, and surprise, surprise we were starting that day. So I roused the kids out of bed, and they rushed into their clothes, I packed their lunch boxes and off we went. Luckily everything except the tissue boxes was already organised. Monday I bought the tissues and they took them in on Tuesday.

They have all had a great first week, enjoying their new classrooms, with new expectations, and enjoying seeing all their friends. Amber and Lily are enjoying the new challenges of harder classes and higher expectations, Techno Boy is wishing he could spend his days at home, free to do as he wills. On Friday Techno Boy’s teacher pulled me aside in the playground to tell me that he had homework, apparently his teacher is very organised (yes I should have known as Amber had him for two years) and gave out homework on day one. Lily won’t be getting any homework until next Tuesday, and of course Amber in High School has homework from day one, but at least she does it (with a lot of prompting, she’d rather read).

Possum and I have been having lots of fun, going to the park each morning after we drop the kids off. I’m looking forward to flying start so he can have some structure every week. He loves it, and so do I. The biggest thing is that we miss the kids, it gets lonely during the daytime with just the two of us at home. Still we have lots of fun in the park and at the shops, but I’ve got to do some work sometimes, and he wants me to play with him as he misses is brother and sisters. Then they come home and just want to chill, and he’s excited to see them and wants to play. Hopefully we’ll sort this out soon.